This week is pretty special as I am celebrating four years of living in Paris. If you don’t know me that well, this is a huge deal because it means I’ve basically been living my dream for all this time. Four years!! Am I considered Parisian yet? I’ve learned a great deal since moving here – a divine mix of good, bad, ugly, and completely magic. In the past four years I’ve lived in 3 different apartments, been robbed in two of them, seen some pretty historical shit, made French friends, taught myself French (yay me!), and somehow managed to stay here despite the complicated warfare which is French administration. In honor of this anniversary, I want to share some of the things I’ve learned since moving to Paris.
1. The touristy stuff never gets old
I lived near the Eiffel Tower for two years which means I saw it literally every day and it never ever ever wore off its charm. Actually, since moving to another neighbourhood further away, I began to miss it. Now I showcase it to others from my perspective, at my favorite picnic spot. I’m so lucky I get to see her all the time! It’s not just La Tour that has kept its magic all this time either. Every time friends come to visit, I get excited about touring them around all of the familiar places- Notre Dame, Sacré Coeur, Montmartre, Arc de Triomphe, Louvre… the list goes on. Every time I see these places I feel rejuvenated and energized. That’s some pretty magical stuff if you ask me.
2. It’s wonderful not to need a car
Driving in Paris is a no-go. The city itself is pushing to be car free in the future. Parking is paid everywhere and also difficult. The upside to this is that there are so many other ways to get around, and they are way more fun. Paris is condensed so you see so much on just a little walk or bike ride. Getting lost is also super fun! Four years here and I still find myself in awe when I come up onto something and realize “omg this is here?!”, suddenly realizing were I am. That’s a magical feeling that keeps Paris interesting. Plus, it’s always changing so the more you walk, the more you discover. I also don’t miss parking, paying for gas, insurance, and registration.
3. Eating well is surprisingly easy
So maybe bread isn’t the most healthy of choices, but it’s beyond this world and if you buy it directly from a bakery, it’s made fresh daily. Actually, if you make sure to stay out of grocery stores in general, you’re doing yourself a huge favor. The trick is shopping small and fresh. Hit up the cheese shop rather than cheese aisle. Buy from the butcher or the fish market for better quality and prices. Buy produce from produce shops or from the weekly market which are in every neighborhood. The French love their organic products and there are entire stores and aisles dedicated to “Bio” goods. It took me awhile to learn this one but once you know, you know.
4. There’s no way to totally understand the greeting rituals
Every situation is different and in France, it’s all about the implicit language. Regarding greetings, the general rule = there isn’t one. So that means you’ve got to figure this out every time you interact with someone in your daily life. The best way to learn is to learn and practice some basic French. Start learning French now with Babbel
Bonjour vs. Bonsoir
Hello in French is said two ways depending on the time of day- “bonjour” meaning good day, and “bonsoir” meaning good evening. You typically would say “bonsoir” anytime after 4pm but some people don’t. So if someone responds with “bonsoir” to your “bonjour“, you never really know if they were correcting you or not.
Hello, excuse me, thank you, goodbye!
These are the typical words you’ll use in almost every interaction, usually in that order, but it’s not always necessary to use them all. For example, if I’m just passing someone in my building, a simple “bonjour/bonsoir” will suffice (and yes you should say it!). But let’s say I hold the door open for my neighbour, he says “merci” and then follows with an “au revoir” since he’s exiting. In this case I should also follow with “au revoir“. It should be noted that this can go different ways too. Perhaps my neighbour says “bonjour” first. I reply “bonjour” and hold the door. He says nothing and goes out. I could say “au revoir” to him to imply (implicitly) that he could have said thank you. Are you following? Don’t forget to throw in “excusez-moi/pardon” if you’re asking a direct question. Also your “au revoir” is very much necessary, and sometimes you say it to everyone in the room/bakery/elevator/etc.
The Bisous
Just when you thought all of the greetings were enough to give you social anxiety, you learn that you now have to also get comfortable kissing people. Lots of people, all the time. When you say hello and again when you say goodbye. Phew! But it doesn’t stop there, no… you also have to know which side to go from and how many times to kiss. Good grief!
Let’s give a scenario of my friend’s birthday. I arrive and a few people are already there. I must go around to each of them and give them a bisous, throwing in my name between kisses if we have never met before and finishing with “enchanté“. Now someone else arrives to the party. They come around and give me their obligatory greeting kiss. This happens until everyone is at the party. At the end of the party as people start to leave, they give me goodbye kisses. Now I’m leaving and I have to give them out to the people still there. Oh and since it’s a birthday party, its likely there are presents. My friend gives a bisous to everyone she gets a gift from. SO. MUCH. KISSING.
5. The best time to eat-out is at lunch time
Parisians like to eat out on their lunch. Who could blame them when there are so many great options just doors down from their offices? I don’t work an office job, but I discovered that almost every place offers special lunch deals that they don’t offer during dinner, so I often eat lunch alongside everyone else. It’s a great way to try places you might not typically go to during dinner (and you save money!).
My recommendation:
Address:25 Rue Guy Môquet, 75017 Paris
Lunch hours: 12-2:30pm every weekday (closed weekends)
This is one of my all-time favorite restaurants in Paris. The food is gastronomy style and quite amazing. Best of all their lunch menu changes every day and is only 17€! It comes with 3 courses and an espresso (such a deal). I’ve taken literally everyone I know to this restaurant for lunch. There is nothing close to this offered at dinner time and you should definitely call ahead of time for a table.
6. Complaining is a way of life
Honestly it’s just a form of expression in France. Once you learn that the French will complain about literally anything, you’ll find yourself doing it too, and I guess that just makes us all Parisians! You know you’re really French when you start to protest (aka “grève”) which is just a formal way of complaining and demanding reformation. However, it should be noted that just complaining doesn’t actually get you anywhere, because the French also love to argue. I’ve figured out that you earn respect by arguing back and fighting for your point, even when it’s a given that you are right. You have to really show when you mean it in order to demand a change.
7. The best way to learn French is to try speaking it to everyone
You’ve heard the cliché (french word btw) that the French won’t help you unless you speak French? Well it’s not true – it’s actually that the French are more inclined to help if you try to speak their language. In Paris you’ll find that a lot of people actually speak English, which is helpful. However, I’ve found that the best way to interact with French people is by trying to speak French to them, even if it’s a horrible attempt. This way, even if you can’t get it right, they are more inclined to speak in English to you. Even if you speak your best French to the waiter, they might still reply to you in English. My advice is to always practice, even if someone is speaking English back to you. It’s a great opportunity to learn and to become more comfortable and eventually fluent in French. If you haven’t started learning French at all to practice, don’t worry! I was once in the same boat. I used an app called Babbel to get the basics down. Get started with this and then practice the stuff you learn in the app out in the real world! Start learning French now with Babbel
8. That things are closed for no reason, like all the time
It’s infuriating, but you’ve got to learn to get over it. Many a times have I gone to the post office or the bakery to find a paper sign taped to the door saying the are closed with no explanation. This is just the way things go sometimes, especially in August when most places are closed for several weeks. The only way to know is that paper sign pinned to their closed doors (or you can try calling to save yourself the trouble).
9. Decent bathrooms are hard to come by
One thing that is quickly learned while in Paris is that there don’t seem to be any public restrooms anywhere, and even if you do find one, they are pretty downright disgusting. So in my 4 years of being here I’ve figured out the best places to use the toilet when out in the streets of Paris.
- Starbucks
- McDonalds
- 4 or 5 star hotels if you just ask reception nicely
You can always ask a restaurant but a lot of times they will refuse you unless you pay for something (usually a drink) which I find to be very counter productive. I try to negotiate for a coin to use their bathroom rather than buying something. Even when you’re at a bar, the bathroom situation can be pretty dire and not worth paying. I don’t even bother in tourist areas because these restaurants are the rudest when it comes to sharing their bathrooms. This is honestly why the city smells like piss sometimes – and if it comes down to it, you’ve got to “man up” and pee in the street. C’est normale.
10. Work isn’t the center of everything
The quality of life is a lot different in France. The French get way more paid vacation than Americans (try 3 extra weeks) plus there are a ton of bank holidays throughout the year. Workers are protected from working too much, or being harassed by their bosses at odd hours. Full time hours in France = 35 hours per week. Taking time for holidays and staying home on Sundays with family is a way of balancing life and not putting work at the center of everything. This is why most of the city is closed on Sundays/Mondays and why Paris in August is empty – everyone is taking their holidays!
11. Adults still have house party ragers, and it’s totally acceptable as long as you invite the neighbors
Before moving to Paris, I always thought house parties were for college kids, either too young for bars or just pre-gaming before going out. Here in France it’s how most people celebrate their birthdays or just a normal Saturday night with their friends. They will bop away to loud music and hang out the windows smoking cigarettes until the late morning hours, without ever leaving to go out. It’s also common for the neighbors to just deal, as long as you leave a written letter in the building letting everyone know you’re going to have a party and anyone is welcome to come have a drink (and sorry for the noise in advance). Vive la fête!
12. How to fully commit to a good time
This is one of my favorite things the French have taught me. Parisians are pretty conservative by nature in their day to day, but when they are ready to party, they really let their hair down and go for it. In Paris when the sun comes out, everyone takes advantage and goes out to soak it up, by having a drink on a terrace or on one of the many rooftop bars.
There is a vast difference in the typical American group of people coming home from a party versus a French group. They are louder, usually chanting together, and don’t give a f*ck. I’ve experienced a lot of historical moments (like France winning the World Cup) which have showed me just how much the French like to get out and celebrate. I have to say that it has inspired me to say yes to more things and a really good way to enjoy every moment in Paris – take a break from whatever struggle is going on, let go, and have a damn good time.
Merci, Paris
If there’s a way to sum up all the things that I’ve learned since moving to Paris, it’s that when moving to another country you have to go with the flow. Things just won’t work the same ways that you are used to. The people, language, and way of life will be totally different. Any challenging thing you face is an opportunity to learn something. So yeah, I might have been robbed twice and that sounds (and was) pretty traumatic, but it also taught me how to protect myself and my things better. In many ways I am eternally grateful to Paris for all that it has taught me. It continuously pushes me to grow into the best version of myself and to try things that were never on my radar before. That’s what living abroad is all about – expanding your world, your mind, and your family.
So thank you, Paris.
xox, Tamara ♡
Did any of these things surprise you? Let me know in the comments!
Naomi Cadena
Hello, I enjoyed your post it was full of lots of helpful info. I am however wondering more about the 2 robberies? I am moving to paris in 3 months and I want to know if you learned anything on how to avoid being robbed? Can you tell me more about the situations or anything I should do/not do to avoid it?
Thank you,
Naomi Cadena
Tamara
Hi dear, I would recommend making sure that your apartment has the lock that has 5 points. These are impenetrable. Just make sure you fully lock them, as this was my first mistake in my first apartment. If you’re living in Paris now, you might find this facebook group helpful 🙂 https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenlivinginparis/
kathy garrett
Oh, I loved your synopsis of “Learning Parisian Life”–I am an old lady who went to Paris about 5 years ago, and LOOOOVVVED it!!!! When I saw your article on Pinterest, I immediately read it. I envy you so much for getting to live there! I would have wanted to do that in my younger days. Thank you so much for giving us “an American’s view” of life in Paris…you go girl, and I wish you many more years of great adventure, new friends, and continued life in “the city of love.”