Valentine’s Day is a holiday I pretty much never celebrate. I would be lying if I never said V-day was stupid. Blame it on being single or on lazy, resistant (ex)boyfriends if you will. The best Valentine’s days that I can remember were when I was much younger. My mom always got me a gift and sent it to me at school as a surprise or had it out for me when I woke up. It made me feel so special and loved, and that feeling is worth celebrating.
For me this year, there’s no romantic lover. I’m 29 and on the other side of the world from my doting mom. I’m on my own for this one, yet again. I usually just (try to) ignore February 14th and pretend it’s just any other day. But honestly, I still end up with a little loneliness and FOMO when I see couples celebrating. I make sure not to go out to a restaurant because I imagine that I’d be the only one alone (and they are probably booked anyway for deserving couples, right?) But this year I’m proposing that we don’t feel left out, or lonely, or long for a relationship. You know what we are going to do? We are going to be our own mothers. We are going to love ourselves this year for Valentine’s Day, and here’s how.
1. Write a love letter
Stay with me here, I know this sounds kind of cheesy and therapisty but I really believe that this is the best way to open up your heart and find those loving qualities that might be buried underneath present woes, stress, sadness, etc. Have you ever read the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray? It’s an old school relationship guide about the differences between men and women and how to understand and accept them. In his book he talks about a love letter technique that he says is the best way to release negative feelings and communicate positive ones. By stating honestly how you feel, the negative thoughts begin to lesson and the loving ones increase. This year I suggest writing ourselves a love letter.
How to write your letter
In his book, John Gray suggests starting our sentences with these words,
- I love…
- I want…
- I understand…
- I forgive…
- I appreciate…
- I thank you for…
- I know…
Be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to have any negative feelings. We are going to find the loving ones as we write. Forgive yourself for anything you are holding onto, understand your limitations as they are, thank yourself, and tell yourself what you truly want! Nobody will ever need to see this so be as open as you’d like.
You can even write this letter now, seal it in an envelope, and then open it on February 14th and read it. Remind yourself that you are capable of love and deserving by reading your own honest love for yourself.
2. Plan a fun date
This can be done one of two ways. You could either call up a girl friend who doesn’t have plans and use this as an opportunity for some girl-time bonding, or you can do it alone. As an expat living in Paris, I’ve gone through, and still feel like I don’t always have friends to do things with. So, don’t let the thought of doing this one alone get to you. I’ve discovered that I’ve missed out on many things that I wanted to do and felt regret for not doing them simply because I didn’t want to do it alone. Ugh, do you do this too or is it just me? This year will be different because this year we are loving ourselves! So, no regrets! Look through these ideas and go for the one that speaks to you.
Some date ideas to do in Paris
- Take a cooking class,
- Wine / champagne tasting,
- Make a craft to express your creativity,
- Take a dance lesson,
- Learn to bake French macarons,
- Enjoy a meal by a private French chef,
- See a comedy, dance, concert, or other show
The list goes on and on and on. You can find all of these and so many more on Airbnb Experiences. Take this chance to do something you’ve always wanted to do or learn. Bond with a friend or simply go for it and maybe meet some new people!
3. Treat yourself to the cliché V-Day goodies
Yes I’m talking about the flowers and chocolates and cute teddy bears! If I am totally honest with myself, most of my FOMO on Valentine’s Day comes from seeing the flowers that other people receive on their social media. Well, there’s no reason we shouldn’t have them too! Secondly, we don’t really ever need an excuse for chocolate so that’s just a given. If you’ve had your eye on some earrings or a handbag, spoil yourself and get it. I know this method is a bit materialistic, but that’s part of the commercial side of Valentine’s Day and it still pops up every year. Don’t think about it as being materialistic or pathetic to send yourself flowers. Something as simple as flowers have a way of lifting my mood and there is no shame in spending my hard earned money on anything that makes me happy.
4. Pamper yourself like the goddess you are
Seriously, this is the definition of self-love! I wasted far too much of my life not pampering myself with beauty products and treatments. Just about a year ago, I made it a new year’s resolution to start a beauty routine, and now I am obsessed! I had my first luxury facial as a birthday gift just this last year on my 29th birthday. This entire year I’ve been discovering the world of spas, beauty treatments, masks, and hair and nail care. All of this is thanks to Paris for the poor water quality and pollution. It has basically forced me to make some changes to my beauty routine. I’ll gladly get into that later.
You won’t need to convince me to do one (or more) of these things for Valentine’s Day this year
- Get a facial or massage
- Mani/pedi
- Book a few hours of spa facilities (sauna, pool, hammam)
- Make home-made masks for face, hair, feet for an at-home spa treatment
Btw, you can totally do this activity with a gal pal as well, but I assure you that whether you do it alone or with one of your girls, you’ll be feeling beautiful, relaxed, and love yourself for doing it!
My personal recommendations for my favorite places in Paris to get pampered
Spa
- Le Narcisse Blanc – an undiscovered gem of Paris. This is a five-star hotel near the Eiffel Tower. Their spa is newly renovated and open even if you are not a hotel guest. They offer packages including lunch, facials, or just two hours in their spa facility where they have an indoor pool, jacuzzi, hammam, and sauna. Additionally, It is a Carita spa so you can consult with them and use any of their products at the end of your visit. If you follow me on Instagram then you already know that I’ve personally been here several times. I’ve even enjoyed one of their facials. You can also reserve this spot on Treatwell and get a 10€ discount on your first time using the app! This place is well worth it. Honestly, you might see me here during the week of Valentine’s Day.
Mani/pedi
- Kim Anh Manicure – So, this is my personal spot where I get my nails done regularly. Trust me when I tell you that I looked all around Paris for an affordable and nice nail place. They have great reviews for a reason. They even offer fidelity cards that they stamp each time you receive a service. Your 10th service is half off. Also, they are just super nice, very clean and they do amazing work.
Treatments to make at home (by Hello Glow)
- Easy face scrubs – these at home scrubs by Hello Glow use only a few ingredients that you probably already have at home, so they are super budget friendly and easy. After your exfoliation, put on a toner and cream, or go for a face mask. I like to try different ones all the time. You can even give yourself a series of masks in a row for that spa facial feel!
- Easy hair masks – might as well go all out and make a hair mask while you face mask it! You can use the same ingredients at home for shiny, soft, and moisturised hair.
- Foot mask – yes to feet masks too! This one is only two ingredients and makes your feet so soft. It’s great for summer sandal season but having nice soft feet is definitely a year round thing for me. Do this and then paint your nails to feel like you had an expensive pedicure for practically nothing!
5. Get dressed up
I always feel beautiful when I’m all dressed up. Whatever your thing is; makeup, a favorite outfit, lingerie, or all of it… put it on! We don’t need a date to get dressed up. Just that feeling of looking great reminds me that I’m a total catch. I have a weird thing with lingerie, where I always want to buy it for myself even when I have nobody to wear it for. This year I am going to put on my favorite number and get ready to the nines. I am going to look my best and therefore feel my best. Regardless of my evening plans, I’ll be on a special date with myself. But hey, if you’re all dressed up, and so am I, let’s go out and feel great together! What do you say?
#SelfLove is the new #CoupleGoals
This year for Valentine’s Day I’m going to practice being my own mother and bring back those days of feeling special and loved, boyfriend or not. Loving ourselves is something we should be doing year round, as goes with loving our partners, families, and friends. It’s too easy this time of year to get bogged down from the cold weather and have a negative view of ourselves and maybe hide-out from socialising. I encourage you to try at least one of these things this month and foster some self-love.
When all those friends and seemingly perfect bloggers start posting #couplegoals and sharing the romantic details of their lives, remember that you are loved too. You are a goddess. You are beautiful. You are so cool for being here, and you aren’t alone at all! Happy Valentine’s Day, to us ♡
I meant what I said about getting together!
Send me a message, leave a comment below, or find me on Instagram. If you’re in Paris, let’s get together and lift each other up this month, and every month!
xo
Tamara
